Cold hands, warm shart.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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