im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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