When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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