I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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