I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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