no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
