so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
