This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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