Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
