Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
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So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!