it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
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It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
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You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
The dick lei will go down in squad history
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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