i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza