I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin