Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
