He is such a slut. More and more my type.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize