a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
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