the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
