it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
