i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
