Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
