just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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