i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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