good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Randomize
