Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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