I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
