It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
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At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
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Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
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