There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
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