Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
50% drunk capacity currently
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
