Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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