Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
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