Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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