Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
