yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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