4 words: hood of his car
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
