My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
