I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
