why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
