I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize