how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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