How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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