she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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