i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
