I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize
