help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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