I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
