You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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