this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
