i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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