I wannas sexs uuuuu
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
