thus making me awesome and them whores
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
