its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
