So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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