lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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