Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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