ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
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Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
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It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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