Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
