I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
