Plan B is the new Plan A
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
It's shark week go big or go home
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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