Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
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Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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