she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
