ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
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