When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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