The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
