He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
