Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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