so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
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I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize