my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
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