She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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