No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
So many bounce houses so little time
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
is that a dick in a sweater?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
