It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
