What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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